You’ve got to feel a little bad for Sergio Garcia. Maybe very little, but still. Guy was supposed to be the next Tiger, we blink our eyes and he’s a 30-year-old with the "best never to win a major" albatross wrapped tight around his throat.

He’s playing this week in the Madrid Masters, and he’s got his eyes on one goal for the rest of the year: making the European Ryder Cup team. Yes, it’s gotten that bad.

Garcia, to his credit, freely admits that he’s aware there are severe problems. "I’ve always been a good ball striker and I’m not going to
lie, I’ve been struggling with that," he told Reuters. "And when that happens alarm
sirens go off, because that’s my strength."

Still, with some dedicated coaching from his father and his primary coach, he expects that he’ll be able to work his way into the top nine on the Ryder Cup standings, good enough for an automatic slot. He currently sits in 17th place.

Still, repairing his game isn’t the only thing that he’ll need to work on. He’s systematically burned out fans, whether it’s spitting in holes that don’t treat his ball right or whining about the conditions at Augusta or crying that it’s his ex-girlfriend’s fault. Nobody likes a whiner, Sergio, so get on out there and win a few, Don Draper-style.

So you think you know everything about golf? Yeah? Here’s something new for you — a slo-mo look at what a golf ball might look like when it hits a wall at 140 mph: 

I say "might" because there are a few inconsistencies here. First of all, this is what a golf ball looks like when hit with a driver. There’s some deformation, sure, but not that Jello/pancake/Daly’s belly look above. On the other hand, the average golfer swings a club at about 100 mph, and even His Majesty Tiger Woods has only gotten up to about 125 mph, so it’s conceivable that higher speeds bash the ball to that extent. On the other other hand, wouldn’t the ball just explode like an egg when it’s hit that hard?

File this one under "Cool, Possibly Fake Video." You know, right next to the moon landing. 

(Video via Break.com)

You gotta love Jack Nicklaus these days. Once a man of few words when it came to important issues, the 70-year-old Nicklaus has taken the aging grandfather approach to issues, commenting on just about everything in the golf world.

It’s been rather refreshing to see such a powerful figure in the golf world not scare away from issues, and the latest is the Corey Pavin-Tiger Woods debate. Basically, Pavin said that Tiger wasn’t a sure thing on the Ryder Cup this year, a ridiculous comment on all accounts but something most people thought was somehow all right. (Once again, must I remind people that saying negative things about Tiger only makes Camp Tiger scratch you off its list, Steve Buscemi in "Billy Madison" style.)

Nicklaus spoke up on Pavin, and the comments are excellent.

"He’d (Pavin) need a brain scan if he left Tiger out of the team," Nicklaus told local reporters at the unveiling of a project to design two courses at the exclusive La Moraleja, 10 miles from the venue for this week’s Madrid Masters, the Real Sociedad Hípica Club de Campo.

"Of course he should pick Tiger. The truth is that Tiger is going through some personal problems, which I’ve nothing to say about, and he’s also got some problems with his game, which he’s going to have to resolve himself. But Tiger will be in the team, I have no doubt."

Of course he is going to be on the team! He’s Tiger Woods! Who leaves the greatest golfer off a team that is going to play golf?! That’s like leaving Roger Federer off the Davis Cup team. No matter if Tiger is playing the worst golf of his life, you still want the most competitive guy in the game on your team when you go to play a format that he has dominated in the past, sans the actual Ryder Cup competitions (which I’m sure you could blame as much on his playing partners as you could Tiger).

I never totally understood why Pavin would say anything in the first place. The matches aren’t until early October, and Tiger is 11th in points without having played well at all this year besides the Masters.

I’m glad Nicklaus spoke up about this, mainly because it’s good to see a famous person as up in arms about such a ridiculous comment as I am. What next, Corey, the R&A not letting Tiger play in the British Open?

In all levels of golf, people can catch fire. A few weeks ago I was playing in a money game where a friend of mine was 6-under through five holes. Another gentlemen played the back nine the same with pars on 10, 11 and 12, only to birdie the final six holes.

You hear a lot about low scores, but this one might take the cake. A man named Jamie Kureluk, who played golf for the University of of British Columbia and is currently the head pro at Cottonwood Golf and Country Club (his website is here), shot a back nine 25 in the first round of the RBC Insurance Alberta Open Championship. A 25!!!

The nine holes included zero pars, seven birdies and two eagles, with a clutch eagle on the 18th hole. Also, with a birdie on his ninth hole, Kureluk was 12-under through his final ten holes on way to a 61 that has him leading the event by four shots.

How low is 25? Well, Corey Pavin holds the record for lowest number in PGA Tour history with 26, and 27 is the lowest ever shot on the back nine of a PGA Tour event, accomplished by Mike Souchak, Andy North, Billy Mayfair, and Robert Gamez. From all accounts, this 25 seems to be the lowest recorded nine hole score ever.

It was too bad that Kureluk got off to such a slow start early in his round, with a double-bogey on the short 140-yard fourth hole, but he made up ground quick on his way in. Also, while this isn’t confirmed I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that this is the only 61 in the history of golf with both a bogey and a double-bogey.

Just to put the 25 in perspective. Think if by some incredible miracle you went out one day and shot 6-under on the front nine at your local golf course. You’d be talking about it for weeks, right? Yeah, Kureluk got you by five shots. Make sure to tip your waitress.

h/t Shackelford

Each week, we break down the coming week’s tournament, giving you the big dogs, the sleepers, and the storylines to watch. This week, it’s Hogan time as we’re at the Colonial for the Crowne Plaza Invitational. And here’s who we like:

Phil Mickelson: The 2008 champion skipped this event in 2009 to be at the side of his ailing wife. Now he’s back, and if he wins, he’s the world No. 1. The last time he was in this position, only a round for the ages by Rory McIlroy kept him from winning.

Steve Stricker: Beset by injuries all season long, Stricker’s not looking much like the guy who held the $10 million FedEx Cup in his hands for a few moments last fall. But if the worst of his health woes are behind him, Stricker has picked a good time to start his comeback; he won here last year.

Jim Furyk: The Undertaker’s hot-then-cold, yes-then-no season continues onward. Which Furyk will show up this weekend — the championship-caliber one or the one who can’t figure out which end of the putter to use. (And yes, that was a Katy Perry reference in the first sentence. Sorry, I’ll go put myself in timeout for that one.)

Tim Clark: Quietly putting together one of the best seasons on Tour. He’s first in fairways hit and second in putting, and those two combined will keep you in the hunt even if you’re not quite razor-sharp in getting your ball up onto the green. One to watch. 

Jeff Overton: He’s never won on the Tour, but with three first-timers in the last month, it’s the season of the n00b on the PGA Tour. And since Overton notched a 2 at Zurich and a T2 at the Byron Nelson, he’s as good a bet as anyone to keep that first-timer streak alive.

All right, your turn. Who are your picks this weekend? Go!

In just a couple weeks, Mark Calcavecchia will turn 50, meaning he’s the latest in a line of distinguished golfers making the leap from the PGA Tour to the Champions.

Calcavecchia will close the door on his PGA Tour career at the Memorial next weekend. As the AP’s Doug Ferguson reports, he was pleased to get an exemption into the Memorial, and is looking forward to his 24th straight year at the tournament.

Calc is a 13-time winner (and 27-time runner-up) on the PGA Tour, and has a major to his credit, the 1989 British Open. (For that victory, captured in a playoff over Greg Norman and Wayne Grady, he’s got another 10 years’ worth of Open play ahead of him, and that’s if he doesn’t pull a Tom Watson and finish in the top 10 during that time.) Sure, he doesn’t look much like an athlete, but as his results show, looks don’t mean much if you can put the doggone ball in the cup. And he hasn’t stopped rolling; last July, he set a PGA Tour record with nine consecutive birdies at the RBC Canadian Open.

He’s also one of the best quotes on tour. To close, a few samples of his handiwork from one of his final PGA Tour press conferences:

"I’m not sure if they gave the exemption to me or to [wife] Brenda."

"I’ve got to find a way to make money, or the house is going up for sale."

"Someone asked me if I was excited to be going out there to the Champions Tour. I said I would be excited if the hole was bigger. But I think it’s the same size out there, so I’m not that excited. I can miss ‘em out there same as I can miss ‘em out here."

Congrats on a fine career, Calc. Don’t beat up on the old guys too badly.

At The Players Championship, all Phil Mickelson needed was a win and a bad week from Tiger Woods to jump the top golfer in the world for the No. 1 spot. Tiger came through on his side, but Mickelson couldn’t pull out the victory.

This week, he’s got another shot at something he’s never been able to say to the golfing world — "I’m No. 1."

As Tiger has struggled on and off the golf course, Mickelson has calmly put together a solid 2010, including a Masters win that vaulted him up the rankings.

If somehow Phil could replicate his winning ways of 2000 and 2008 at Colonial, the event that kicks off on Thursday, he would be the No. 1 golfer in the world, ending Tiger’s streak of 259 straight weeks at the top. Tiger isn’t playing this week.

It’s interesting to think that of all the accolades Mickelson has accumulated in his career — he’s scooped up four majors and a ton of PGA Tour titles — he has never once won an award that congratulates an entire season of good play. Phil has never been No. 1 in the world, won the money list, player of the year, the Vardon Trophy or the FedEx Cup. It would be nice for Mickelson to scratch off at least one on that list.

While being No. 1 doesn’t really matter that much in the scheme of things, it might be a huge boost for a guy like Phil before the next three majors this season. He has always been a guy that seems to play on momentum, and something as menial as telling others you’re the top golfer in the world, and meaning it, could help the confidence of Lefty before a tournament he always seems to finish second at.

So, this week, a win means he’s No. 1. Stay tuned.

So you remember that big neck injury, the one that forced Tiger Woods out of The Players Championship and placed his entire career in jeopardy?

Yeah, uh … never mind. The Golf Channel is reporting that Woods is going to play in the Memorial next weekend, so it can’t be that bad, right? Woods is the defending champion at the Memorial — you remember, he won this one back when he was coming back from a knee injury and we couldn’t imagine anything possibly could be going on behind the scenes.

So, yes, good for Tiger. But — hey, let’s create some drama here — what are we to make of the fact that he’s playing in Jack Nicklaus’ tournament but did not play Arnold Palmer’s Bay Hill tourney a couple months back? Could he be closer to the Golden Bear than Arnie, hmmmm? (Settle down, folks. This is what’s known as a "joke.")

In other non-news, USA Today is reporting that Tiger is building an oxygen chamber, several pools and a practice golf course on the 12-acre property that hosts his 9,000-square-foot home in Jupiter, Fla. So, you know, good for him. *cough*Neverland*cough*

Oh, and finally, U.S. Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin said Woods isn’t guaranteed a spot on the team, and will have to play his way onto the team. Woods, once he stopped laughing at the idea of having to audition for anything, called Pavin to pipe down, and Pavin immediately thanked him and put him on the team. (Portions of that last sentence may not actually be true.)

Yep, so there you go. Commence "Cheetah Woods" and "Let he who is without sin" comments in 3 … 2… 1 … go!